The Love Affair of Writing
Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash
Is writing an act of love?
I think so. I think writing is a love affair, a love story, where we fall in love with our words. It’s like any other relationship, full of the tumulus ups and downs, wins and fails, rising and falling.
We start out flirting with our words, playing around with syntaxes and rearranging verses. Perhaps we start out with a cliché or a meet cute. It can be a slow realization of the connection between us and our words, or it can be an instant spark. And we think, “Hmmm…maybe there’s something here.”
And there is.
So begins the “honeymoon” phase, where we recognize this extreme passion for our words, becoming completely enamored with the feeling. The rose-colored glasses shine bright with grand dreams and joy. We write our hearts out, twitter pated in the rush of lustful abandon with our words. They flow, they curve, they dance from our fingertips, spinning into works of passion. Burning bright in the explosion of creativity and ideals.
Then comes the “work” phase, where we face what’s working and what needs to be adjusted or improved upon. Where the editing, rewriting, promoting and just plain figuring it out comes into focus. Boots to the pavement, fingers to the keyboard. Writing draft after draft, submission after submission, post after post. It can be relentless and we encourage ourselves and say, “But that goal is just at our fingertips!”
And we may silently wonder, is anyone out there reading?
We may find ourselves at the “going through the motion’s” phase. This is where the monotony of it all tries to bury us, and dissolution surfaces. We fall into a rut. Wake, write, give a false smile and repeat. The Inner Critic uses this time as an opportunity to restart her campaign. Eventually this phase becomes too uncomfortable and staying leads to a slow and tortuous death. The death of creativity. It’s either remain uncomfortable or claw ourselves out of the dark abyss to freedom.
And so, the phase of the “reemergence of passion” commences, and we wonder why we ever felt ambivalent to it at all. This is where acceptance comes in. This is where we embrace our authenticity, of who we are and our role in the relationship. And we find that this passion is different, deeper and more confident.
We are more experienced, and we’ve become strong enough for when accountability shows up. Admittedly, being accountable can be uncomfortable, but necessary. For how are we to grow as writers if we can’t own all parts of our journey? The polished, the rough and the unedited. When we can wear the flashing sign that says, “This is who I am!” and own it.
We deserve it. We fought for it. Our fingers bled for it.
The last (but not least) phase of the love affair is “gratitude.” Being able to be thankful that we’ve made it this far. Finding the silver lining in all the phases that we went through. How we laughed and cried, sang and screamed, described and ranted with our words. Allowing the appreciation for the conversation and relationship with our words that have bloomed inside of us and seeded out into the world.
And yes, this is a never-ending love affair, that of writing, where we and our words continue to grow and deepen in ways that are unimaginable. We look back at the rollercoaster of the love affair with our words, and realize just how far we’ve came.
And how much farther we have to go.
The writing journey is not for the weak, for as writers, we are made resilient. It can take dedication, passion, gumption and a little bit of grace. Relationships can be hard, even if it’s with our words.
So, yeah, I say writing is an act of love.
An endless love affair.
The writing journey continues…
Previously published on July 2021 on Medium.com.
© 2021 A.N. Tipton
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